June 10, 2010
Some days, like today, when I really pay attention, I can hear Shug Avery’s voice singing “God is Trying to Tell You Something.” As if she was my daughter walking through the field and into my church.
I’ll save the details for later, but I’ve had a difficult time listening to gospel music since I left the church with which I used to be so heavily involved.
I often insert my headphones while at work so I can tune in the music and tune out the noise. Depending on my mood, I’ll listen to different types of music. Today, finally, it was gospel. All day. I couldn’t turn it off.
When I clicked “play,” I thought to myself: “I feel so out of touch with this. I have no idea what the new songs are, but I’ll give it a shot.”
Song after song squirmed into my ears. Memories of being a worship leader and director of the dance department at that church stole my attention with every other song. I wasn’t made to feel uncomfortable or strange or like I wasn’t part of that circle. Quite the opposite. Every song was one I’d ministered in either dance or voice. Every song.
I wasn’t “in the mood” and I “didn’t have time” to talk to God and ask Him why those were the songs that pierced through the air waves. I just dabbed the typical tear trail with a Kleenex and occasionally sat dumbfounded.
I could be wrong, but I think the big guy was saying to me: “Melissa, I’m the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. You’re the one who’s changed. Let me know when you’re ready to talk.”