June 11, 2010
The company director sent an e-mail this week inviting dancers back for the 2010-2011 season. When we met Tuesday for an administrative meeting, he mentioned the number of confirmations he’d received to date. Then he winked and craned his neck and eyeballs to me for a response because I hadn’t yet replied to the e-mail.
I nearly choked on my cheese and chicken nacho as Gabs and our board president pretended not to be witnesses to my awkwardness. But that’s like saying, “Don’t look over there!”
I managed to curtail the conversation and commitment, making the non-responsiveness that much louder. I didn’t have the ready response, and I knew I wouldn’t have the one he’d wanted.
Committing three nights a week for three hours a night for our dance company to rehearse is necessary. It’s not easy for anyone after working all day. But it’s even tougher when you’re a mom — especially a queen of a FRESH prince.
J has a very busy life, too. Football practices, which take place four to five nights a week for several hours a night during conditioning, are about to begin again. Neither one of us can be in two places at once, so something gets sacrificed.
Where do we draw the line? I try to lead by example with J. I try to show him that dedication and diligence reap their own rewards. But if my examples are taken away, I’m left with just words. Not to mention insanity.
How can I lead by example and “be about it” while sitting around on my lifeless dreams? Who wins? It’s an unfair rationalization no matter the answer.
I sent my response a few hours ago …