Effective communication emerges when we’re brave enough to confront difficult issues. Challenges are thrown at us every day, and if avoided for too long, they become insurmountable. Cloaking the elephant in a Technicolor Dreamcoat doesn’t conceal it; it exacerbates it.
Phil Stutz and Barry Michels provide tools for suppressing mental challenges – which are commonly self-induced – in their book “The Tools.”
Much to my egotistical surprise, I’m not the only one who struggles with confronting those inward demons of thought domination. We all have a Shadow (originally detailed by Carl Jung) that lives within us or our companies, and we all have different ways of confronting or avoiding it.
It fascinates me how often we trick ourselves into thinking it’s easier to avoid conflict and live within our so-called “comfort zone” rather than deal with it and move on to “endless possibilities.”
Hear me when I say, this “theory” never works and it’s anything BUT comforting. But you already knew that, right? So why do we continue to repeat the process that never works?
What happens when we push our Shadow aside repeatedly or continue to cover it up? I’ll tell you what happens: It grows. It overtakes our minds and spills over into EVERY SINGLE thought and feeling until we lose our ability to discern the sound of truth versus the cacophony we’ve manufactured in our minds.
Control the noise
No wonder we have so much trouble communicating. We’re dizzy from all the NOISE clanking around inside our heads and inside boardrooms. Imagine how much stress, how much convolution, how many toxic relationships we could avoid if we could only confront the discomfort WHEN IT HAPPENS and press forward to our personal, professional and POSSIBLE goals.
I challenge you to stop psyching yourself out. Confront your fears, your pain, your mess or your phony facades and PSYCH YOURSELF IN. Whatever it is you’re fighting, take control of it and use it to your advantage. Take control of your own destiny, whether it’s for your career, your company, your relationships, your intimacy or your attitude.
YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE THE WAY YOU OPERATE.
“The only people who really like me are the ones who don’t really know me,” a very successful friend of mine confessed recently.
He’s not alone. I think this is true for a lot of people because if there is one thing we’ve mastered, it’s the determination to convince people we are who we say we are.
Get real
Psych yourself in and embrace your true self. Psych yourself in to clearer communication.
Do you find it difficult to write or speak in certain situations because you fear the outcome or how you or your company will be perceived? (Of course you do.) Is there an overarching issue that needs to be addressed in your life or your company? DEAL WITH IT so you can move forward.
What battles do you find yourself fighting regularly? What does your Shadow look like?
Melissa J. Dixon 