Sense And Sensitivity

Oct. 4, 2010

With nothing but the best intentions, I tried to post as much as possible to the Yow Dance blog during our Boston trip. In my mind, it was an opportunity we would potentially have only once. In my mind, it was an opportunity to bring everyone—you—along with us. It seems only fitting to let Eric detail Friday, the last day of our trip, for you.

In the meantime …

Yow Dance was not in a situation to take its entire ensemble cast on the trip. Four male dancers, four female dancers, Eric Yow and Ellen Bone were the only ones who were able to go. It never occurred to me how insensitive I was being to those dancers who didn’t get to go. My apologies to anyone whose feelings have been hurt. My apologies to everyone who might be offended by the coverage. I wish everyone could’ve gone.

To make matters worse, this Boston trip was my last trip, as this weekend’s performance will be my last, with Yow Dance. As preoccupied as I’ve been with everything not Yow Dance, this company still holds a lot of weight with me. Eric and his vision mean more to me than most people ever have or will. I’ve been loyal. I’ve shed tears. I’ve shed blood. I’ve shed pounds. I’ve even shed a little sweat. <–If you know me, you know I don’t sweat.

I’m not the most deserving person to have been chosen. Other dancers give more of themselves to this company than I currently do. However, I do not apologize. I’ve given a great deal of time and effort to this company in the past three years. I cannot possibly count the hours I’ve devoted to not only dancing three hours a night/three nights a week, but each of those nights incurred major travel time to and from rehearsals and shows. When most people devoted 3 1/2 hours, I devoted close to five every night. And that does not include the editing and writing and brainstorming and meetings, etc., before and after rehearsal.

It also doesn’t include the “too much patience” I asked from my prince. Thank you for hanging in there, J. You are … you are perfect is what you are. You really are royalty, you know that?

So, no, I will not feel guilty about being chosen to go. It makes sense. No, I will not feel guilty for detailing the trip for Eric’s mom and mine and anyone else who cared. And, many of you did, judging from the stats. Thank you for joining and supporting us along the way. I hope you felt like you were involved in the trip.

And now tech week has begun for Yow Dance’s season opener this weekend. Funny: It’s the season opener, but it’ll be the closer for me. As if the stress of putting a show up in a new venue isn’t enough, I’m fighting this internal emotional battle. One career is officially ending as a new one begins. But, more on that, later.

I’ve been very busy with this new direction, and I love it. I’m excited for the future. God: Thank you in advance for the success of this new direction. Let’s go!

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3 thoughts on “Sense And Sensitivity

  1. Deb says:

    It really is hard to make everyone happy. Usually it is the best intentions when someone spins it in an entirely different direction. I wish you joy as you say GOODBYE and do your next adventure. I am visiting my parents in orlando November 5-8 at THE VILLAGES with my 4 year old Princess Amira. I wish your J could meet my Gabe…football game would be the BOMB! All the best to my favorite young writer!

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  2. E says:

    You know I am better expressed in movement than in word. I will try my best to prepare for the weekend but let me start by saying… I love you. My heart and soul thanks you. I will miss your tremendous talent and professionlism. I am so grateful for the opportunity to get to watch you excel and continue your adventures through your blog. Can’t wait to watch you shine this weekend. Thank you for everything. Thank you for your beautiful words.

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  3. Mom says:

    Words cannot express what I am feeling this a.m. 30 odd years of watching your performances, so proud, watching wigs fall off, laughter, name it, these are memories that will never leave. Hopefully, you can still express yourself now and again in performing, but definitely in your writings. Here’s to you girl. I love you.

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